Life is just great lately, and I've spent most of my leisure time watching TikTok as I am currently on my semester break. If you are on TikTok too, you will understand how TikTok's algorithm works, and fun fact! My For You Page (FYP) isn't fixed to any... Sometimes, it'd be Japanese content, or maybe some Jedag Jedug rempit content :') And lately, most of them will be English content. I am not complaining though, as each of those gives me input, and helps me reflect on who I am. As for the answer to the post title,
Life is about creating yourself, not finding yourself.
I discovered this on some random comment on TikTok posts, and BOOM! automatically fell in love with this quote.
The point is, I want to highlight the former of the sentence— "creating yourself". As I got older, there are questions (trust me, it's always the simple ones) that keep bothering me because I don't have the answer to them. One of them is when they ask you about your hobby or maybe what you do when you are free. If I were younger, I could just tell them that I read novels; fictional, romance, supernatural-themed. But oh well, things changed, I rarely 'touch' novels now.
On the other hand, I do a lot of activities during my free time. Like, during summer (highlight: hot and sunny weather) I'd go jogging, walking around my neighborhood and also a little bit of skateboarding, play sports, camp and enjoy waterfalls. Or maybe winter, I do enjoy snowboarding especially. Or, talking about at home, sometimes I do read, write bullet journals, study or play my ukulele, or even edit some random videos I take when I travel. The thing is..... my hobby isn't fixed to one JUST LIKE MY FYP which had led to me being an average person with no 'stand-out characteristics'. This is how I see myself; I admit that I can do a lot of things but I am excellent at none.
I do feel insecure and anxious being around those who have passions, are excellent at something and have clear visions of their life considering that I am all the opposite. It'll go like, "why am I good at none?" "how to stick to one and excel in it?" etc. But then, as I came across this quote, I realized, life is all about creating myself. "Maybe I am not the one who is specialized in one thing, but I can do a lot of things. I don't need to be like others, I can be myself." Maybe I can just say, "I do a lot during my leisure time" and not be insecure about it. This is my identity, I chose to be like this, they can't say otherwise, right?
Well? I could just say that, but deep down, I still have the urge to create an identity that makes me more visible to others. Not for impressing others (but if it does, well, good though), but for my own satisfaction... It's just my mindset that being extremely good at something will be a good identity instead of can do anything but excelling at none. So yea, I'll try my best to create the best version of myself for the sake of my future (; Toward a better self!
